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Preamble: So the old friends who became bitter rivals are almost ready to settle their differences in the ring. David Haye versus Audley Harrison has been billed as the biggest night in British boxing since Lennox Lewis beat Frank Bruno 17 years ago in Cardiff, but in the bluster that has surrounded the fight as the pay-per-view driven hype entered overdrive in the past 10 days it is easy to forget that when this bout was announced the most prominent noise was one of laughter as most knowledgeable sources doubted whether Harrison could last more than a couple of rounds with Haye. Since then we've heard all about their falling out when Haye took a sparring session in Miami a little too seriously. Haye cites jealousy as being Harrison's main beef with him and says that tonight in the MEN Arena is going to be one of the most one-sided fights of all-time. Harrison, meanwhile, says that their friendship has turned to disdain and arrived at the venue just over an hour ago chanting "yes I can" over and over again. But will he turn out to be more like Barack Obama or Bob the Builder? The fight is due to start around 10pm but we'll see if Manchester time-keeping is as efficient as it is in Las Vegas where I seem to remember it being bright outside by the time many of those supposed 2am fights actually got going. While you're waiting for the main event you can read Kevin Mitchell's thought's on tonight's fight here and here, while the strengths and weaknesses of both men are outlined here.
9.12pm: Increasingly as the fight loomed many seemed to think that despite Haye's seeming superiority Harrison could spring a surprise by landing one big punch. While he definitely has the power for this - Harrison weighed in three stones heavier than Haye yesterday - that spectacular knockout is not something that has been a big part of Harrison's career to date. But Haye is pretty small for heavyweight so maybe there is something in that theory, although Harrison will have to let go of him for a minute if he's going to land any good shots.
9.24pm: Audley Harrison is an MBE. I can't add anything more than that. Frank Bruno is in the crowd tonight. He says he "fancies" Audley Harrison but not in that way "because I'm not gay." He then accidentally refers to him as "Ordinary Harrison", which may be the most accurate description of all the thousands and thousands of words that have been written about this fight. Ricky Hatton is also there. Let's hope it turns out better than his last night out in Manchester.
9.28pm: "Despite the farce factor of this bout it will be a relief to follow something that takes one's mind off a certain team in red," says Ian Copestake presumably in reference to Liverpool's capitulation at Stoke. "Both my head, my heart and my hopes say that Haye will walk this," writes Phil Sawyer. "But there's been this tiny part of my brain that's been getting louder throughout the week that opines that Harrison's going to win with a lucky punch." Or is that what the pay-per-view sales people want you to think, Phil? Is it? My own prediction is that Haye will win in the third round (currently about 7/1 in the bookies) after the which they will kiss and make up, admit they respected and loved each other all along and we'll be given a finale so melodramatic that it would make sick of you saw it on an ITV Sunday afternoon made-for-TV movie. But what do I know.
9.33pm: Gary Naylor thinks Phil is on to something: "Fraudley shouldn't have a chance with his record and some of his past "displays"; neither should Haye, a blown up Light-Heavy who won the Title against an immobile non-boxer. Given that they can't both lose - though never rule anything out in boxing - I fancy Fraudley to find the punch that a man with his physical advantage must possess somewhere and knock Haye out."
9.38pm: "Could I echo Ian Copestake's sentiments?" Asks Phil Sawyer before answering his own question. "I find copious amounts of vodka help with the forgetting process." That usually does the trick. Or a box in the head from a heavyweight. They're pretty much the same thing.
9.45pm: 9.45pm: Ian Copestake has an interesting theory. "Haye will refuse to come out on the grounds that he is so confident of winning he doesn't have to prove it to anyone." Rio Ferdinand is ringside. Of course he is.
9.47pm: Who would have predicted that the undercard would contain a bout between Phil Sawyer and Gary Naylor. "Neither should Haye, a blown up Light-Heavy who won the Title against an immobile non-boxer," says Sawyer recalling Naylor's earlier statement. "Sorry, have to disagree with Gary there. Haye was devastating at cruiserweight, and boxed the perfect fight against Valuev considering he broke his right hand early on. Who else has made Valuev wobble like that?"
9.49pm: Of course there are many who think that Haye should be taking on one of the Klitschko brothers tonight instead of Harrison. Some people even think he should be taking on both the Klitschkos. Either way, it has created huge interest in tonight's fight in Germany, as Francis Lee writes ... "I was surprised to see that this fight is being shown live on the German equivalent of BBC1 - but that's basically because of the Klitschko context and that the two are (since they became champions) considered adopted Germans due to their Hamburg HQ."
9.51pm: "Any chance of them burying the hatchet and ganging up on Rio? I'd hit the red button and subscribe for that," says Gary Naylor in what I would put down as one of the great proposals of our times. Here's hoping ...
9.57pm: We've just had a quick glimpse into the dressing rooms where the fighters are just putting the final touches to their preparations. Audley Harrison is wearing a 'Keep Stonebridge Adventure Playground Open' T-shirt. He might have plenty more time to devout to that particular cause after tonight. Haye is still in his underwear. It's not that kind of fight, David. He also appears to have some heavy strapping on his right calf, which suggests he may damaged a muscle which could come into play the longer the fight goes on.
9.57pm: "Thanks to Francis Lee," says Ian Copestake. "I never thought there might be an advantage in living in Germany, but here it is. I can watch a comedy mismatch for free. In my best Martin Tyler voice: It's Liiiiive!"
9.58pm: Gary Naylor has weighed back in to the fight that everyone is talking about. "Phil is right on both counts - Haye was an er... cruiser, rather than a light-heavy and he did fight the perfect fight against Valuev. Notwithstanding
those points, he still doesn't look like a natural heavyweight and plenty of
boxers could have fought that fight against Valuev - the broken hand helped
Haye by ensuring his disciplined plan was his only real option."
10.00pm: Harrison emerges to an arena which immediately starts booing. He walks slowly towards the ring while Phil Collins's In The Air Tonight plays over the PA. Let's hope Steven Gerrard isn't there. Meanwhile, Phil Sawyer has offered an olive branch. "Can I just say that despite our difference of opinion on Haye, Gary's suggestion regarding Rio is possibly the greatest ever on an MBM (or is it Punch by Punch? Or Round by Round?)"
10.02pm: Here comes David Haye, emerging from a rather tacky looking wall of fire and into the auditorium where he receives a much better reception from the crowd. McFadden & Whitehead Ain't Know Stopping Us Now is his theme tune. If it was judged on entry music they would both lose. Ben Dunn has spotted another way they can settle this without resorting to violence. "From the picture, I see Haye hasn't quite figured how to play kid's games. Harrison's stone is beating those weak set of scissors every time."
10.07pm: "It's Hold-by-Hold Phil," says Gary Naylor. He may be right. I still haven't ruled out them just having a big chat and sorting out their problems that way. We shall see.
10.08pm: "The Rio matchup definitely worth watching," harrumphs Devin Hill, "but only if Rio can tag Vidic in, who would wipe the floor with Harrison and Haye."
10.09pm: Apparently tonight's fight is "taking place for the first time in 3D". That can't be right. "The commentators on Five Live are so excited that they remind me of the Spitting Image sketch in which David Coleman went so far over the top calling a Coe-Ovett race that his head exploded," says Gary Naylor.
10.11pm: Audley 'A-Force" Harrison gets another round of booes from the crowd. A-Force? Who are these people?
Round One: We're underway ...
Round One: A predictably cagey first round as the two fighters size each other up. Haye was trying to make Harrison commit to a jab but Harrison, who towers over Haye, never took the bait. Number of punches landed: None. I could have done that. The crowd boo them back to their corner. Guardian unofficial score: Haye 10-10 Harrison.
Round Two: More of the same at the start of round two until Haye, frustrated, makes a lunge at Harrison but fails to connect with his right. The referee then reminds them why they are there and urges them to throw a few punches. Haye listens and leaps in with some attempted right jabs but they are lunges and there's no power in them and they cause no trouble,. Harrison has yet to throw a punch. "If that opening round is anything to go by, they should put a handbag in the middle of the ring," says Rob Smyth. Just as long as they don't play any more Phil Collins. Guardian unofficial score Haye 10-9 Harrison.
Round three: Haye emerges purposefully and lands a big right and then tries to go to work on Harrison's body. He then lands another big right and Harrison is in big, big trouble. Haye moves in for the kill and Harrison goes down ...
... David Haye has beaten Audley Harrison!!! Harrison went down after Haye ransacked him against the ropes. He took an eight countm, but no sooner had he got to his feet than Haye pounced again, pumelling him against the ropes and the referee had no option but to stop the contest. An easy, easy victory for David Haye.
10.25pm: I will refer you all to 9:28pm.
10.26pm: Gary Naylor says what we're all thinking. "Any chance of a beer match with Rio then?" Certainly Haye would have enough energy for it. After two rounds of inactivity he realised he might as well have been fighting a cardboard cut out and he went for the kill. He executed it cleanly and efficiently but Harrison was so, so poor it was barely believable. He landed one punch in the fight.
10.28pm: Haye laps up the adulation of the crowd as his victory is officially announced. He then applauds Harrison as the loser's name is announced. The crowd chant 'You're sh*t and you know you are." Haye reveals that he, his friends and family all "had a lot of money" on him winning in the third round. Is that allowed? He then says he was patient and could have won it earlier but there was no need to go for the kill. "Next year I promise I will fight one of the Klitschko brothers," reveals Haye.
"Evan, that was a quite extraordinary piece of prediction," says Phil Sawyer. "Will you now be replacing Kevin Mitchell?" I'm not sure about that Phil. Kevin Mitchell did say "inside five rounds" in today's paper. They need to hug-it-out in the ring for my prediction to come fully true.
10.37pm: "Audley Harrison's not just a disgrace to boxing, he's a disgrace to manhood," says Gavin Sweeney, which may be taking it a little too far. "He got knocked down more times than he threw punches," he adds, which is true. Audley certainly has done himself any favours with his performance. "I could of done better than Harrison," says James Ashdown, "and I train in my garage 3 days a week. What a waste of money and time. I would have paid just to watch him go home. Haye is a over hyped light-heavy weight who only got the title from beating a "immoblie non-boxer" and Harrison won a gold medal and that is all the worth caring about. Waste of money, time and effort."
10.40pm: "Audley is not an aggressive guy," says David Haye's trainer Adam Booth. You would think that might be a prerequisite for being a boxer, although it would explain his performance tonight. "I started a bit slow," says Harrison of the two rounds he spent wobbling like a driunk on the dancefloow before the third and final round when he spent moving between the ropes and the canvas. "I didn't get a chance to take it to the later rounds," Harrison adds. He certainly didn't. That's it from me. Thanks for all your emails. Sorry I couldn't publish them all but, as you may have noticed, it didn't go on for very long. So long. Evan.
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